Both open and closed adoptions are legal procedures and are permanent.
November is National Adoption Month. When it comes to adoption, there are many things to consider and many questions to ask.
A woman who has an unintended pregnancy has three options. She can raise the child, place the child for adoption, or have an abortion. Every woman needs to decide which option is best for her, but making a decision may be hard to do.
A Tough Decision
First, a woman needs to think about the next nine months. Is she willing and able to get good prenatal care? Will she change her mind after giving birth?
The father of the baby is another factor. Is he supportive of placing the child for adoption? Will he give the legal consent that may be required?
Other questions a woman might want to ask herself include:
Am I ready to be a parent?
Can I afford to be a parent now?
What would it mean for my future if I had a child now?
Can I accept not being my child's primary parent?
Does adoption feel like what I should do, not what I want to do?
Would I consider abortion?
Is someone pressuring me to choose adoption?
Am I prepared to go through pregnancy and childbirth?
Will I be able to cope with the feeling of loss that I may have?
Do I have people in my life who will help me through the pregnancy and adoption process?
How do I feel about other women who choose to place their children for adoption?
How important is it to me what other people will think about my decision?
Many women who choose adoption are happy knowing that their children are loved and living with people who want to raise a child. But some women find that the pain of being separated from their children is deeper and longer lasting than they expected. Asking these kinds of questions will help a woman decide if adoption is the right choice for her.
Once a woman chooses adoption, there are also practical questions to consider:
Open or Closed?
If a woman chooses adoption, she has two options - the adoption may be open or closed. In an open adoption, the woman can participate in selecting the new parents for her child, and she has the option to get to know them, stay in touch, and even to have ongoing visits with the child. In a closed adoption, the woman's name and the adoptive parents' names are kept secret from one another.
Both open and closed adoptions are legal procedures and are permanent. Even though the laws differ from state to state, it's rare for a court to give a child back to the birth mother. That's why a woman needs to be sure she is prepared for this option.
Making the Arrangements
There are three ways to arrange for an adoption: 1. Agency Adoption. A private agency that is licensed by the state arranges the adoption, including offering a woman counseling, helping her plan for the hospital, handling the legal paperwork, and choosing the adoptive parents in a closed adoption or helping her choose them in an open adoption. 2. Independent Adoption. The adoption is usually open, and the birth parents place the child with the adoptive parents. A lawyer handles the legal paperwork, but a woman may still receive counseling or advice from a local adoption agency. 3. Adoption by Relatives. A relative of the birth parents becomes the adoptive parent of the child. An adoption agency, lawyer, or state department of human services can arrange the adoption. Adoptions by relatives must meet the same legal requirements as any other adoptions.
With adoption — as with giving birth or having an abortion — it's important for women to know the facts and to talk about their concerns. Planned Parenthood clinics can provide information for women who are deciding what to do about a pregnancy. Call 1-800-230-PLAN to find out more.
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